But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
