K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
