the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You did what with his pubic hair?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
