Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
