Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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