Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My dick has a subreddit
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
