He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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