Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
