Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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