That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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