It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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