is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
