Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
