You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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