Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
