Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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