I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
