Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
