oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I've blown a few things in my day
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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