I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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