I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
