He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
