Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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