Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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