yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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