I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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