I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
