So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
