well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
