Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
