Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
