he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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