He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
