Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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