What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
