Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
