I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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