Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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