I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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