it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
