oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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