I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
