watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
