my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
