member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
