guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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