let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
