I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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