we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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