dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he puts the penis in happiness.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
