this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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