My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
